An Unknown Emotion
by AnotherUnknownWeirdo
Summary: Really bad at summaries. Bakugou trying to figure out his feels.


**A/N: Hey! This is my first BNHA fanfic, but I'm a big KiriBaku fan and I've wanted to write about them for a while. This is just a taster, if there's interest I'll do more?**

 **I probably suck at staying in character so if there's any parts you think are bad, please say! I welcome criticism. (Constructive, not mean)**

 **Enjoy!(?)**

* * *

He was getting too close. Kirishima, he'd worked his way in and before Bakugou knew what was happening… he cared. That stupid hard headed, shitty hair for brains… How did he manage it? Katsuki closed his eyes, draping an arm over his face. He'd spent so long ignoring his emotions, not caring for anyone, now that they bubbled up from time to time – Bakugou was very skilled at suppressing anything that resembled feelings – beyond his control, he would postpone sleep. If he slept while such thoughts we're badgering him then he'd get another one of those dreams. They were the worst, making it difficult to look at those red eyes without feeling timid and Bakugou was never timid. All of this swirling uncertainty, it pissed him off. He didn't understand the crushing feeling that sat on his chest every day and it was infuriating.

Sparks began to spit from his palms. "Bastard!" He growled to himself. This was all Kirishima's doing. A few moments passed as Bakugou struggled with his thoughts and then a knock radiated throughout the room.

"Bakugou, are you alright?" It was him. Stupid shitty hair for brains. Bakugou cursed under his breath, had he somehow summoned the trainee hero with his extensive thoughts? That was stupid, of course not. But what if... "Bakugou?" His voice was soft, caring but not timid, if anything it was assured and concerned. Kirishima didn't doubt himself, didn't question if he cared. He cared about Bakugou and he was so at ease that he could show it without hesitation. Was Bakugou jealous?

"What do you want?" The teen hadn't meant to be so harsh, the words were simply a reflex.

The door opened just a fraction, a glow seeping into the room from the lit hallway. "I can hear your quirk sparking through the wall, are you okay?"

Shit, fuck, stupid dorms. "I'm fine!"

Hesitation. Kirishima usually accepted Bakugou's word as truth, but there was doubt there, or maybe something else? Bakugou sat up, his face set into a frown. "What the hell do you want, shitty hair?"

A soft chuckle came from the other side of the door. "I was just checking on you..."

A lie. That pissed Bakugou off. "And I said I'm fine, yet you're still here. You want something, so what the fuck is it?" Irritation filled his words, both with and without intent. Was Bakugou worried? No. He was annoyed, definitely annoyed, why would he be anything but annoyed at Kirishima hovering at his door?

"You really need to work on your temper, bro."

"Lecture me some other time!" He huffed, throwing himself back down on the bed and turning his back to the door. "If you're not going to tell me what you want then piss off!"

The door opened fully then, the light illuminating the room, except for the shadow that Kirishima cast. Bakugou could see it on the wall, his hair was down, Kirishima always looked cute with his hair down. Cute? Katsuki kept his face turned away. No way he just thought of his best friend as _cute_!? "I couldn't sleep, and since I heard you up, I figured we could play video games or watch a movie or... something?" Bakugou let the room fill with silence. "Or not, if you'd rather be alone, that's cool too..." He sounded so pathetic, did Kirishima always sound that way? Bakugou was sure he didn't. It pissed him off.

"Fine." Why did he agree? Was it to make Kirishima happy? He could almost feel the excitement radiating from the red head. If that was the goal then it had worked. No, Bakugou told himself, he just didn't fancy being alone, shitty hair was just a convenience. That's what he told himself, over and over, pushing away all other thoughts.

"Cool!" Kirishima beamed, "Is it okay for me to turn on the light?"

"Whatever."

The red head turned on the light as Bakugou sat up, rubbing at his eyes as they adjusted to the glow. Without hesitation Kirishima jumped on the bed, a carefree grin on his face. Bakugou glared at him, "If you want to watch something you'll have to get my laptop." He pointed to the desk. "I don't really have any video games, so if that's what you want we'll have to go out to the common room."

"No, no, a movie is fine!" Kirishima jumped up like an excited puppy and rushed to grab the laptop. Bakugou checked the clock behind his bed, 1am. He was glad there was no class the following day or else he'd be as tired as Aizawa-sensei usually was. The red head returned to the bed and handed the electronic to Bakugou, his face ever alight with a toothy grin. A pointed, toothy grin, framed with thin, pink lips. Katsuki took it without saying anything and opened it, beginning the loading process. "What do you fancy? An action movie, I bet! I heard there's a good one... Oh but that's new, it's probably still in cinemas..." Bakugou tuned out the babble as he inputted his password. _Lord3xplosionMurd3r._ He didn't really fancy watching anything in particular, if anything he'd rather go for a run or train - physical activity always helped calm him, letting out some of the pent up frustration. "Oh! Cool background, manly!" Bakugou grumbled, of course Kirishima would make such a comment. His home screen contained some of the top heros, of course All Might was the main feature.

Bakugou let Kirishima pick a movie, he struggled to pay attention to it. Some guy in the mafia was trying to take over the city and heroes were banding together to stop them. Like he cared. But the red head seemed to be enjoying it, up until he fell asleep anyway. "Loser, why'd you pick it if you were just going to fall asleep?" Bakugou grumbled to himself as he squirmed out from under Kirishima's drool. "Gross! Stupid idiot!" Kirishima's peaceful face showed no sign of waking so Bakugou closed his laptop and exchanged his shorts for a pair of sweat pants. He was too pissed off to deal with the red head taking up his bed at nearly 3am, so he decided to go for a jog. He'd deal with the other teen when he returned.

As he left, Katsuki grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and headed for the door. It was cold out, more so than he'd been expecting, but he didn't mind, considering it training for his body. Although he'd intended to do a light jog, Bakugou found himself running, as hard as his legs would carry him, around the school grounds. The uncertainty and confusion and anger and frustration fueling his legs and forcing him to kick against the ground harder and harder until his breath was heavy and his clothes were sweat stained.

Why was he always so easy to work up? His actions were one of the reasons the villains had taken him, his demeanor convincing them he was evil. Maybe he was, he certainly didn't think of himself as a good guy, but he wanted to be a hero, no matter what others thought of him. His mum had showed him the clip of Aizawa-sensei on television, defending him. _"See! He clearly sees something in you, so don't let him down, you weakling!"_ She'd yelled at him. Maybe she was right - not that the teen would EVER admit that aloud. He'd let All Might, his favourite and most admired hero, down. He'd been too weak to help and ended up being the cause of his retirement. He was so weak he got captured by those disgusting villains. Yet, Aizawa-sensei had never wavered, he believed in Bakugou and his drive to be a hero. What an idiot.

Bakugou had always been assured of how great he was, the girls thought he was attractive, the teachers praised his intellect and his fellow students boasted about how cool he was. He had always been treated like a celebrity. Coming to UA had been a shock - of course, he'd hoped to find people matching his strength, if they were weak it would have been boring - but they didn't just challenge him, they made him doubt himself. Was he really as strong and great as he had always been led to believe? Of course, such self doubt just pissed Katsuki off more. Filling him with a rage that he didn't know how to control.

"Stupid," he panted, "Pointless, idiot, fuck, shit!" He drew to a stop, his legs aching from the violent nature of his workout. Resting his palms on his knees he focused on his breathing, he hadn't noticed how much his lungs were struggling to take in oxygen, had he forgotten to breath at some point? "Fuck sake," he breathed before drowning the burning sensation in the back of his throat. What was wrong with him? He'd never felt such conflict before, and why was the one person he wanted to talk to about it laying in his bed, no doubt saturating it with drool. Bakugou growled at the thought, "That idiot, I'll kill him."

* * *

After showering and changing into clean clothes, Bakugou returned to his room to find Kirishima curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed, the blankets wrapped around him like a baby. A stupid fucking baby. The clock at the back of the bed read 4:20. His run had taken at least an hour, and yet Katsuki wasn't feeling as tired as he'd hoped to. Kicking at the ball that was Kirishima, Bakugou tugged on the blanket. "Idiot loser, get out of my bed!" The red head grumbled in reply and rolled away from the violent boy. "Go to your own goddamn bed!"

"Mm, I don't wanna," Kirishima whined, scooting closer to the wall. "We can both fit, it's fine."

"It's not fucking fine!" Bakugou was starting to yell, annoyed that Kirishima wasn't listening. His palms began to spark. "Get off my bed, shitty hair for brains, or I'll kill you!"

"Don't wanna," the red head mumbled, showing no concern whatsoever. Why wasn't he afraid? Everyone else got scared when Katsuki got mad. "Come on, bro, it's fine. Spoon me."

"Spoon...!" Bakugou spat, losing his temper as he grabbed at Kirishima's shoulder, setting off an explosion. The sleepy teen had activated his quirk in the area, defending himself from the blast. However the blanket couldn't be saved - it now fashioned a large hole in it, with black marks around the edge. "Idiot, look what you did! My blanket has a hole in it now!"

"Me? That was you," Kirishima sounded more awake but was refusing to move. "Bakugou, dude, just shut up and get into bed. It's warm and I'm sleepy."

Katsuki stood there a moment. He didn't appear to be winning this argument. Did he want to win it? Growling with frustration he laid down next to Eijiro, unwilling to spoon the other teen, he laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. "Haven't you ever heard of 'no homo'?"

"What's manly about that?"

The blond grumbled and closed his eyes, warmed by the body up against his left side.


End file.
